Tender Care: The heart and soul of caring for God’s scattered servants
A collaborative effort by
The Seabrook Seven
Barnabas Books 2010
“What happens when a loving, obedient church that cares for its constituent “one anothers” sends some of itself to the uttermost parts of the earth to take the gospel of God’s love to the nations?” That question provides the theme for this unique recent addition to the missionary care literature. The authors are up front about their purpose: “We hope and pray that the once-neglected, now specialized field of missionary care will continue to evolve to include a much broader base of caregivers. It cannot just be a cadre of full-time professionals who do this work.” Their intended audience is anyone who senses God’s prompting to contribute to the spiritual growth and care of the global harvest force.
The first third of the book is devoted to developing the concept of the “tender.” A tender is a member of a professional deep-sea diving team. He is the person who stays on the surface to monitor and aid the progress of his underwater partner. The life of the diver is literally in the hands of his tender, so obviously his role is not optional. That is an excellent metaphor for the relationship between missionaries and those who send them out, and the authors employ it effectively.
In describing the role of one who provides “tender care” the authors state: “The purpose of such care is to edify, encourage, enrich, and strengthen the cross-cultural worker so that he can continue and finish the God-given task before him.” (p. 21)
I particularly appreciate the way they encourage average people to get involved:
I applaud their focus on Christ as the one indispensable resource for missionaries and caregivers alike:
Section Two of the book provides a host of helpful insights into the issues that confront cross-cultural servants. Things like
Again, the authors point us back to Jesus as the only ultimate means of coping with the various stresses that missionaries face. “Only when we keep our eyes fixed on Jesus are we able to disregard the fear-producing data that surrounds us.” (p. 74) In reference to Hebrews 3:13 they remind us, “The dangers come daily, and so must the encouragement.” (p. 75)
Perhaps the most poignant observation is offered on page 85: “Whatever is happening in a person’s life or circumstance, no other factor is as critical as how he is doing in his relationship with God.” You won’t find more practical advice anywhere.
A three-part model of care is presented in Chapters 11-13. The first aspect promotes interaction with missionaries whenever they return from an assignment (drawn from Luke 9). This part of caring is based on good listening skills. The second part relies on a definition of rest that goes beyond the concept of a vacation--the kind of rest that only Christ can provide. Then thirdly, true to their emphasis elsewhere in the book, the authors suggest the most critical element of their model. “We need to remind ourselves and others of what is most important--who we are in Christ. We need to help workers pull away from “what they do” to focus on “who they are becoming.” (p. 107)
The authors conclude this section with pragmatic thoughts on caring for missionaries before they depart, while they are on the field, and after they return. Included is a chapter on the necessity of developing a theology of suffering. This last bit may be the most important thing we can encourage prospective missionaries to develop since it is inevitable that they will suffer.
Part Three zeroes in on the working relationships between missionaries, their sending churches, and their mission agencies. “The pastoral care provider stands in the center of a triangle between these three entities, advocating for clear, meaningful communication and the meeting of true needs.” (p. 175) “It would be wrong to assume that because the mission organization controls much of a cross-cultural worker’s direction in ministry, the organization naturally will have a handle on the pastoral care of their missionaries.” It was for that very reason that Paracletos, Inc. was created. Too many missionaries fall through the cracks when such assumptions are made, and they frequently are.
Tender Care outlines the preferred roles of the sending church, advocate teams, the mission agency, and professional member care personnel. The challenge issued in the closing pages sums up the spot-on conclusions of this book:
“There is an urgent need to reclaim the pastoral perspective in servant care. Jesus...knows how we are made, what afflicts us, and how to recover what has been lost. It is time to be thankful for new insights and tools while being faithful to a God who is the center and source of all that really matters.” (p. 197-98)
This book is available at https://www.barnabas.org/book.php
(Reviewed by Dave Lewis)
By Dr. Robert S. Miller
BottomLine Media (Pioneers) 2011
“It is one thing to go to the ends of the earth and survive. It is another matter to flourish and be fruitful despite the onslaught of enemy fire.” That is Steve Richardson’s perspective. As president of Pioneers-USA he has provided a foreword to Dr. Miller’s book that includes an admonition to multiply its impact.
“The main presupposition of this work,” writes Miller, “is that the fight for survival is real. Missionaries today undoubtedly serve in the spiritually desolate areas of our world...Every year, hundreds of new missionaries set out for service among the world’s unreached peoples...Few know how to establish and maintain healthy boundaries.”
As an outline for considering the essentials of maintaining spiritual health, Dr. Miller suggests seven areas of knowledge that every missionary should acquire:
* Know your God
* Know yourself
* Know your enemy
* Know the terrain
* Know your boundaries
* Know how to lead
* Know your mission
He insists that “the wilderness is not the place to practice spiritual exercises for the first time.” Ideally, each of the above topics should be explored and experience prior to deployment to the mission field. Even veteran missionaries can benefit from his advice, and certainly anyone involved in training, coaching, sending or caring for missionaries would do well to have a firm grasp of these issues as well.
Some examples of Dr. Miller’s pithy advice:
How long does it take for a heart to become an arid desert? Not years and not even months. Guard your heart daily. (Know Your God)
Every missionary should learn:
* How to be self-identified
* How to withstand betrayal and rejection
* How to disagree with a coworker and still remain active in ministry with that person
* How to receive correction without being offended (Know Yourself)
Much of the enemy’s plan to destroy us has to do with wearing us down and wearing us out. (Know Your Enemy)
The terrain of ministry is full of life-giving opportunities. It is also full of snares. Take notice of both the hight places that offer advantage and the valleys that make you vulnerable. (Know Your Terrain)
Satan does not care what it is that throws us off balance; he simply wants us to fall. (Know Your Boundaries)
Spend time developing and caring for your fellow teammates. Pay close and consistent attention to their needs. The faithful coworkers that God has brought around you are your most valuable resource. (Know How to Lead)
There is a significant cost that comes with a mindset of non-advancement. While you are working hard to protect and maintain the status quo of your life and ministry, your heart is dying a slow death. (Know Your Mission)
Dr. Miller concludes with some practical wisdom for team leaders. He also adds an appendix in which he suggests that each missionary create a “survival kit” that would include
* A confidant
* A retreat contingency
* A written list of affirmations that speak to one’s identity in Christ
* A few notes or letters from friends that have been a special blessing
* A list of life verses
* A list of “bottom line” commitments
Coaches and mentors will find this portion particularly helpful for equipping new missionaries.
This is a book that bears repeated reading. Different portions of it will speak to a missionary’s heart at different times or stages of life. It would be an excellent gift for every missionary you know, especially those still in preparation for departure. I plan to buy a case to keep on hand and distribute to everyone I know who is involved in missionary care.
(Reviewed by Dave Lewis)
By Brent Lindquist, Ph.D. Condeo Press, Third Edition 2011
Dr. Brent Lindquist, doctor of psychology and president of Link Care Center in Fresno, California, has penned this book as “an attempt to get our hearts and minds around the current state of Membercare and what is both right and wrong about it.” In doing so his stated desire is to elicit dialog that will help those of us in the member care community to continue to grow in both our understanding and practice of missionary care.
Dr. Lindquist works within the broadest applications of member care, that is to say, he thinks in terms of member care in its most complete definition and its global application. The basic premise of this book is the need to nurture a new perspective, and the appropriate vocabulary to go with it, that will shift member care away from a primary concern with disease management toward health and personal development. He begins by listing several problems he has observed in current member care models:
* I see Membercare becoming increasingly compartmentalized. We may have created an artificial distinction...a separate but equal component of a mission organization. (p. 3)
* Membercare is often seen as largely something professionals do to people. It’s easier for a mission management person to conclude Membercare is not their job. (p. 3)
* [We assume] that Membercare is focused around helping hurting people and not around organizational health and continuing personal development. Membercare does not enter into the daily living and decision making of the organization and its leaders. (p. 4)
* When Membercare is relegated to the counselor...membercare activities are presumed to have to function within a confidential relationship that is somehow divorced from the activities of the organization. (p. 4)
* Membercare is often something that happens [only] at special events. (p. 4)
* Content needs to be vetted for multiperspectival investigation...especially when the fields have multiple nationalities present. (p. 5)
* Our models are dependent on professionals for their delivery. Most majority world contexts have few professionals. (p. 6)
* We psychologists ...dialogue, talk and network around diseases or dysfunctional terminology seeking clinical solutions, rather than community, church and mission terminology focusing on growth development and health. (p. 6)
He quotes the working definition of member care employed by the WEA MC Global Member Care Network...
Member Care addresses all aspects of a missionary’s personality, spiritual, emotional and relational, their physical and economic well-being, both singles, couples, families and children, and is developmental and educational. It begins with selection and continues throughout the missionary life cycle to re-entry or retirement. The responsibility for member care rests with the sending agency, the sending church, the receiving church, leadership (home/field), the team, families, individual supporters, competent member care providers and the individual missionaries themselves. (p. 7)
...and applauds the fact that the starting point is well-being, not illness, and is preventative in outlook.
He then touches on three aspects of prevention...
* Primary prevention avoids the development of a disease.
* Secondary prevention activities are aimed at early disease detection.
* Tertiary prevention reduces the negative impact of an already established disease by restoring function and reducing disease-related complications. (p. 19)
... and offers the following observations:
* Standard healthcare and, it seems standard Membercare, function in mostly a tertiary model. (p. 11)
* Current models of Membercare often...assume people are going to get hurt and professionals can provide expert counseling to help them when they experience difficulties. This is a fatalistic assumption because it assumes that sooner or later, everybody is going to need counseling. (p. 12)
* Primary prevention strategy focuses on teaching skills of recognition and skills of health enhancement as opposed to skills of illness avoidance. (p. 14)
He suggests an overview of arenas in which member care takes place (Master care, self care, one another care, pastoral care, coaching care, and clinical care) and how they might interact with each other. He then provides a detailed list of definitions for the various components of member care (spiritual health, primary health, secondary health, and integrative arenas) as well as the appropriate sub-categories for each (i.e. pastoral care, community health, positive psychology, sociology).
By way of summary he enumerates what he considers to be the minimum components critical to an effective member health model:
* Organic component in organizational life...such that everyone is playing a part
* Will foster, facilitate, enhance, and encourage incarnational effectivenes
* Move from a disorder, dysfunction, and even illness, perspective towards a health enhancing model of continuing...development
* Focus on community and church oriented models of care as the primary or first responder
* Facilitate the development of local resources before nonlocal
* Focus first on context-defined and enriched strategies
* Will see benefits in the utilization of outsiders as resources, but not become dependent on those (p. 42-43)
This, from my perspective as a practitioner in the pastoral care arena, is an encouraging move in the right direction. Dr. Lindquist’s book is a much-needed conversation starter for all of us seeking to be more effective in our own particular realm of missionary care. It is available from www.condeopress.com and is well worth the $4.00 price tag.
(Reviewed by Dave Lewis)
By LeAnne Hardy
Kregel Publications, 2003
Missionary kids (MKs) have unprecedented and unique opportunities to encounter other cultures and experience life in ways most young people don’t. Yet these exceptional opportunities also can produce a multitude of questions: Who am I? Where do I truly belong? How do I fit in?
Most teenagers face these same questions, but MKs have an added layer to their angst. When they spend time in their parents’ home culture during their high school years, they may be nearly paralyzed by their inability to fit in with other teens.
Between Two Worlds by LeAnne Hardy is a short novel that explores these issues. For her sophomore year in high school, Cristina and her family return to the United States from Brazil. Cristina does not know how to act around American youth. She doesn’t understand the slang, the current styles or the accepted way of doing things. She misses her friends and her life in Brazil. How will she handle her embarrassment? Will she ever fit in? Can she help others to accept those who are different?
This book is perfect reading for teenagers, particularly girls, who are MKs themselves or who want to know how to relate to MKs. An MK will discover that she’s not alone in what she’s experiencing. And those who have never lived in another country will gain an insight not only into other worlds but also into the hearts of missionaries and missionary kids they know. And parents, even missionary parents, may glean helpful clues about they might help MKs navigate transition.
(Reviewed by Irene Lewis)